Full Article: What’s in a Name? – Choosing “Yellow”
When the subtitle said “an invitation,” I didn’t realize it’d be all self-directed. I kept waiting to read something about feminism or what Jesus said that would show me “the Bible’s view of women,” but I was left wanting. But then again, it wasn’t written for me (it was frequently insinuated that boys aren’t welcome, which seems odd, given the title), so maybe I just missed it. Overall, it’s mostly a failure of marketing, setting expectations the book has no intention of delivering on.
Full Article: It’s Not Supposed to be Easy
This morning, I had the privilege of sharing some time with my almost-three-year-old (and don’t you forget it!) daughter, cuddling and sharing a cup of coffee. I had my black ceramic mug, she her pink plastic princess mug.
I’m a bit conflicted on the Great To Princess or Not To Princess debate. On one hand, I certainly see reason for caution in going to excess on externals and a Barbie or Disney perception of beauty. But I’ve never really understood why it is that some contend that I would need to avoid all princess language with my daughter. Since when does princess necessarily become equivalent to external beauty? I’ve never made that connection, and I don’t see that it’s necessary.
Yes, I can see how the two are related. And I can see how they’ve become more interrelated because of toys, movies, and programming aimed at girls. But I also know that those industries follow the money, and the money wouldn’t be there if girls didn’t crave that. As much as I hate to admit it, my girl loves pink. Loves it. And purple. And girl characters. And yes, princesses. She likes to wear dresses and run to show me how pretty she is. I did my best to not force it on her, and she found all that stuff anyway.
So I’m left with a bit of a dilemma. I want her to be a strong, independent woman. But I also want her to feel free to embrace her femininity, even if she fits some of the stereotypes. I want for her to avoid the trap of letting society enforce an arbitrary sense of beauty on her. I also want for her to feel beautiful, desired, loved, and special.
And—I’ll just say it—I want to be able to say she’s my little princess. I think there’s some real benefit in that. This morning I came to a realization, and I just decided I could go for it. Unapologetic. The only catch is that I’ll make sure I define what it means for her. So, as we talked about the princesses on her mug, I pointed out that they’re all different–that there’s no one like her either. I told her that princesses are important because they could one day be ruling the kingdom, and that’s why they’re special. Princes and princesses need to be protected and taught so that one day, when they’re in charge, they can rule well.
So if you overhear me one day call her “my princess,” know that I’m defining the terms, not Walt Disney or anyone else. Perhaps too, when she sees those films, she won’t get some view that the princesses are only valuable for their appearance, or to attract some certain prince. (I know I didn’t come away with that perception.) Because she’ll have been taught that the princess was already valuable because of who she is.
Full Article: 10 Promises for Parents
Unsurprisingly, the most interesting parts to me were the sections where she talks about 30 Rock and SNL. Least interesting were the preachy parts. I didn’t expect a few chapters of memoir and a several chapters of random essays. But whatever. I enjoyed it well enough, though.
I was eager to find some help to “restore … reserves to my overloaded life.” Unfortunately, the author spent almost the entire book stating the problem and not much time offering solutions. Even the “solution chapters” (11-15) seemed to spend most of their time stating the problem. A good book for understanding the need to restore … reserves to overloaded lives.